COLUMN OF THE MONTH
More powerful than a one night stand
Slower than a speeding bullet
Able to change a diaper in the men’s restroom
Look up in the sky it’s a car it’s a van it’s
Married Man©
By
Arthur Vincent
Don’t say it
It’s bugging the heck out of you. I mean, there it is, right there for all to see. You want to tell her but DON’T DO IT. I do not know if I will ever understand the reasoning behind the female sensitivity in this area. Yet, while being thoroughly perplexed by the emotions set off by honest comments made with the intent of bettering her situation, DON’T DO IT.
What am I talking about? Her weight? No. Her makeup? No. Her forward speaking? No. Her clothing? No.
What is this emotion ladled feature that can bring nothing but condemnation from any comment less than a glowing confirmation of its appearance?
Her hair.
Yes, my married friends, her hair. Now if a man has a cowlick or hair growing all down his neck, he would feel grateful if someone took the time to point it out to him. But women are different.
I have tried to sheepishly comment, “Uh, uh, you know, have you had a chance to look in the mirror?”
Which is quickly met with a scathing “what’s the matter now?”
Again, sheepishly, I try to communicate “Uh, you might want to take a look at your hair.”
Boy what a mistake! Learn from someone who has been there, never comment on an area of a woman’s body that she will spend as much to have styled as she spends on her dress, shoes, make-up, jewelry, and undergarments combined. A woman may fuss over the cost of shoes (and we know how much women like shoes) but she will drop $60, $70, $80 or more on her hair. To make matters worse she will even wait a couple of hours in the sitting area before the beautician can see her. Then, we have the nerve to make a comment on the way it looks?
Not me.
My wife can come down stairs with spiked hair on one side, nappy hair on the other, and a mohawk in the middle, she will get no comment from me. The only thing that will ever come out of my mouth is “It looks great honey.”
Even if I am not looking in her direction, “It looks great honey.”
You see, I want peace in my home. One of the quickest ways to alleviate peace is by attempting to get her to correct her hair. Oh, her girlfriend or sister can tell her anything about it, but to husbands and brothers, a woman’s hair is off limits.
Now, if your woman has a hair dilemma, here is a suggestion for you. Buy her some hats. Hats are back in style. They come in many different sizes and shapes. There is one just for your wife. Then give it to her as a gift. It will make you look like a hero while helping you maintain your manhood. Hats, scarves, yamaka’s, they may all do the trick.
Afterward, go get yourself a cold drink, read a book or something. Just be sure to not say anything negative about her hair. It will only cause you grief.
© The Married Man