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More powerful than a one night stand
Slower than a speeding bullet
Able to change a diaper in the men's
restroom
Look up in the sky it's a car it's a van it's
Married Man©

By
Arthur Vincent

Don’t say it

It’s bugging the heck out of you. I mean, there it is, right there for all to see. You
want to tell her but DON’T DO IT. I do not know if I will ever understand the
reasoning behind the female sensitivity in this area. Yet, while being thoroughly
perplexed by the emotions set off by honest comments made with the intent of
bettering her situation, DON’T DO IT. What am I talking about? Her weight? No.
Her makeup? No. Her froward speaking? No. Her clothing? No. What is this
emotion ladled feature that can bring nothing but condemnation from any
comment less than a glowing confirmation of its appearance? Her hair. Yes, my
married friends, her hair. Now if a man has a cowlick or hair growing all down his
neck, he would feel grateful if someone took the time to point it out to him. But
women are different. I have tried to sheepishly comment “Uh, uh, you know, have
you had a chance to look in the mirror?” Which is quickly met with a scathing
“what’s the matter now?” Again, sheepishly, I try to communicate “Uh, you might
want to take a look at your hair.” Boy what a mistake! Learn from someone who
has been there, never comment on an area of a woman’s body that she will spend
as much to have styled as she spends on her dress, shoes, make-up, jewelry, and
undergarments combined. A woman may fuss over the cost of shoes (and we know
how much women like shoes) but she will drop $60, $70, $80 or more on her hair.
To make matters worse she will even wait a couple of hours in the sitting area
before the beautician can see her. Then, we have the nerve to make a comment on
the way it looks? Not me. My wife can come down stairs with spiked hair on one
side, nappy hair on the other, and a mohawk in the middle, she will get no
comment from me. The only thing that will ever come out of my mouth is “It
looks great honey.” Even if I am not looking in her direction, “It looks great
honey.” You see, I want peace in my home. One of the quickest ways to alleviate
peace is by attempting to get her to correct her hair. Oh, her girlfriend or sister
can tell her anything about it, but to husbands and brothers, a woman’s hair is off
limits.

Now, if your woman has a hair dilemma, here is a suggestion for you. Buy her
some hats. Hats are back in style. They come in many different sizes and shapes.
There is one just for your wife. Then give it to her as a gift. It will make you look
like a hero while helping you maintain your manhood. Hats, scarves, yomica's,
they may all do the trick. Afterward, go get yourself a cold drink, read a book or
something. Just be sure to not say anything negative about her hair. It will only
cause you grief.

© The married man